So, it has been some time since I have updated our blog. Life has accelerated and I am just now tapping the breaks. Jace is 16 months old (where has the time gone?), I am a nursing student (halfway through the program) and Dave will be starting his second year of teaching/coaching in August.
I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with Jace for 10 months, however that was more than enough time for me. The constant day in and day out of taking care of him around the clock was miserable for me. Don't get me wrong I love being with him but sometimes children going to daycare or a babysitter is a blessing in disguise. I remember when Dave would walk in the door, I would literally jump on him the minute he walked in, I craved adult conversation and anything that didn't revolve around Jace. I felt/feel so guilty about the times that I would badger him to talk to me, and often think I would almost pay someone to take Jace away for just 2 hours, so I could stop and think.
After I received my acceptance letter to the nursing program, immediately I started counting the days until Jace would be going to the babysitter everyday. The anxiety began building. Dave and I run crazy,hetic schedules, we often disappear for weeks at a time and family barely hears from us, let alone friends. With that in mind, I was so concerned about Jace falling in the cracks and money for the additional cost we would be enduring, so we made a difficult decision to move in with my parents for the year I would be in school. This decision has paid off in great amounts, they are always willing to help with any shuttling duties, child care, and entertainment of Jace. We have been so blessed to have this opportunity.
We are often told by friends that we are near perfect parents and I always laugh and say I wish. I am nowhere near perfect and I often feel like I would be one of the finalist for Worst Mother of the Year Award. The countless times I let Jace roll off of the couch,bed, and ottoman,and I often got so frustrated to the point of crying when all I wanted was for him to take a nap. I remember one day in particular that Jace had cried what seemed like all day long and I remember speaking very loudly and begging him to be quiet for just 30 minutes. Being a high strung person to begin with, the constant worrying about SIDS, Colic, gas, feedings, sleep deprivation and growth and development really drove me to the edge of a nervous breakdown.I was constantly comparing Jace to other children his age, not being competitive but to make sure he was developing the way he should. When we were pregnant with Jace, our spina bidfa test came back with a very high ratio for my age and being the worrier I am, I have always been waiting for that to come around and bite us again. I can't help it, his development and spina bidfa will always be related in the back of mind. With all of this it took several months after Jace was born to get into a groove and then several more months to feel like myself. Without the support system that I have my family would have been a huge, disorganized, chaotic mess. Being a parent is hard, all the books, magazines and advice from family members can never really prepare you for the journey. To all my wonderful friends who think Dave and I are near perfect parents, while you flatter us, please do not think that we are. We have are flaws and a lot of help, so we look great on the outside but once you scratch the surface, we struggle just like all parents. It truly does take a village to raise a child.
Jace is a happy,healthy 16 month old toddler (ugh, where did my infant go?) he is approx. 32" tall and about 25lbs. He is one of the most coordinated 16 month olds that I have ever met, he walks, runs, climbs (on anything), spins around, balances on 1 foot, jumps/jumps of the side of the pool, and can throw a ball with the right and left hand. Ball throwing is something Dave and Jace have been working on since Jace was 10 months old. He says a wide range of words: momma, dad-o, nana, poppa, dog, uh-oh, stop, up, cup, ba-ba (bottle/drink) and I think he says love you. You can say I love you, Jace and he will utter the same phrase each time and I think it sounds like love you. We are now trying to get him to read books with us each night something we probably should have started sooner, now he likes to close the book or put his foot on the pages. Not really interested in being read to at all, but we are still trying.
I will keep you guys posted on a more regular basis since school has slowed down some.
